


Slow and Steady

by rosethomass (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Bonding, Fairy Tales, M/M, Mating, Wing Kink, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-02
Updated: 2013-04-02
Packaged: 2017-12-07 05:44:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/744947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/rosethomass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nature sings to Gabriel, tells him he is needed. A man has been left to die by his treacherous friend. In saving him, Gabriel risks his own life, leaving it in the hands of this stranger, Sam. Luckily for Gabriel, Sam is kind. So when Gabriel starts getting sick as a result of saving him, Sam feels responsible, but there's more to it than Gabriel is telling him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slow and Steady

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the [Once Upon a Sabriel](http://1upona_sabriel.livejournal.com), for Tier 2, based on [mangacrack](http://mangacrack.livejournal.com)'s amazing artwork, which can be found [here.](http://mangacrack.livejournal.com/101377.html) The art and fic are both based on the fairy tale The Elf Maiden, which is really lovely and I recommend searching if you're not familiar with it.

The woods were singing with the call of the birds overhead, the buzzing of insects around them, the whisper of leaves shifting in the breeze, the humming of plants drinking in the sunlight. Gabriel inhaled deeply and breathed in the smell of nature, pure and crisp. Twigs and branches brushed against his arms and wings as he made his way through them and he pushed his wings just slightly into them, the thin branches feeling pleasantly like fingers scratching through his feathers.  
  
Life was so much more vibrant in this part of the woods that Gabriel wondered why he and his siblings didn’t visit it more often. A few days ago, he had heard the call of the woods and today he finally gave in to the urge and grabbed his favorite fledgeling, a pair of fishing poles and some bait, and headed into the woods.  
  
Castiel (who was actually a full-grown Angel, but Gabriel never stopped looking at him as a fledgeling or stopped calling him one) tralied behind him faithfully, although he couldn't for the life of him understand Gabriel's desire to fish from a cliff so far away since their village was situated beside the best fishing spot on the island.  
  
Gabriel himself didn't understand it either, but with every step he took, the call grew louder, like a Siren's song, and Gabriel just knew that there was something important waiting for him on that cliff.  
  
It was made obvious what had been calling to Gabriel as soon as he and Castiel broke through the trees at the edge of the woods.  
  
On the cliff, almost at the edge, there was a large rock. Leaning against the rock was a man- large, shaggy-haired, unconscious and manacled at both wrists, the chain wrapped around the rock he was propped against. A man stranded and left to die, slowly and painfully.  
  
Scavenger birds hopped on the ground beside him, perched on the rock above him, watching and waiting. The man wasn't dead just yet, but it was a close thing and the birds knew it. With a beat of his powerful wings, Gabriel sent a threatening gust of wind in their direction and they all flew off with frightened cries.  
  
Castiel and Gabriel rushed to the man's side and as soon as Gabriel touched two fingers to his throat to check for a pulse, something sparked inside him, sending a pulse of purpose through his bones and wings. Whatever it took, he couldn't let this man die.  
  
"He's severely dehydrated, Gabriel," Castiel said. Gabriel watched Castiel pinch an inch of the man's arm and frowned as the skin took its time regaining its shape. Castiel peeled apart the man's chapped lips and checked his teeth and tongue, clearly not happy with what he found there. The man didn't stir a muscle. "I estimate at least three days without food or water.  
  
"Or movement," Gabriel added, gingerly lifting one of the mans shackled arms to examine his wrist. They were scabbed over and raw, a sign of his struggling, acceptance of not being able to get free, and his body becoming too weak to keep fighting. The skin at the edges of the wound was a sickle green and purple, indicating an infection. "We should get him to the village."  
  
Castiel averted his eyes, lips set in a firm, upset line. "I don't see what our medics would be able to do for him."  
  
"What do you mean?" Gabriel protested. "We've got plenty of medicine."  
  
"Yes," Castiel sighed, "but for Angels. We may have similar external anatomy, but human and Angel physiology is very different. We don't have the proper training in human health to help something as severe as this."  
  
Gabriel huffed. "Then I'll take him to the mainland, take him to the human medics."  
  
"He wouldn't survive the journey," Castiel said forlornly. "I believe our only option is to end his misery now." Castiel's big fledgeling-blue eyes shone with sadness and Gabriel knew it pained him to suggest it, but he really saw no other choice.  
  
Gabriel pursed his lips stubbornly and turned to look at the dying man before him. He touched the back of his hands with his fingertips and again that sense of purpose and longing sang through him. He had heard a calling three days ago, when Castiel supposes the man had been stranded. The village was too far away to have heard the man's screams for help, so it hadn't been what Gabriel had heard. It had been a calling to his Grace, nature crying out to him and telling him that he was needed, that someone very important needed him.  
  
"Nope," Gabriel said firmly. "That's not good enough for me. I'm not gonna let him die." He unwound the chain from the rock and pulled out the knife he kept on him at all times. He pushed the tip into the seam of the shackles and managed to spring them open, releasing the man's arms.  
  
"Now," Gabriel answered, taking his knife and touching the blade to his wrist, "you step back and wait for a bit."  
  
It took a moment for Castiel to realize what Gabriel was going to do, but once he did, he reached forward quickly and gripped Gabriel's arm tightly. "What are you doing?!" he exclaimed. "You can't just-- I mean..."  
  
He took a deep breath and fixed Gabriel with a meaningful look. "Are you sure he's...?" He didn't finish the sentence, but he didn't have to.  
  
Gabriel looked down at the man and imagined his waxy skin alive again, full of color, his white lips soft and pink, stretched wide as a deep, happy laugh bubbled out of him. His Grace shrunk and shriveled in pain at the thought of never being to hear that laugh or see what color his eyes were.  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure," Gabriel replied and Castiel accepted his answer with a firm nod. "So, if you don't mind."  
  
Castiel nodded and gathered up their fishing poles before heading back into the woods. What Gabriel was about to do was very personal and not do be intruded upon by any other Angels.  
  
"Let's do this then," Gabriel muttered to himself before shifting so he was kneeling right next to the man's head. He lifted his head unto his lap and raised the blade to his wrist again, slicing a gash in the soft skin there. With his good hand, he held the man's jaw open and put his wound over his mouth, letting the blood flow into it.  
  
As his Grace began to take effect, the man's body absorbing his energy and using it to heal his infections and dehydration, Gabriel felt it affect him as well. Being joined like that was exhilarating, his wings tingling and stretching to their full extent, his hearts beating faster, one pumping blood and oxygen through his prickling body at an alarming rate, and the other pumping Grace to ever inch of his being and into the man he held, forming a bond so strong that it left Gabriel gasping for air.  
  
Once Gabriel had given all that he could give without being sucked dry, he pulled away and let his remaining Grace close the wound. He looked down at the man and was glad to note that there was color in his cheeks and his breathing was less labored. Using his sleeve, Gabriel wiped the excess blood off his chin before calling Castiel to help him carry his new mate back to the village.

***

“A _human_ mate, Gabriel?” Michael sneered, face stony.

“Yup,” Gabriel replied, barely resisting rolling his eyes. He didn’t want to be here, explaining himself to his older brother. He wanted to be in the medic’s ward, waiting for his still-unconscious mate. He felt a little more comforted knowing Castiel was there watching over him and would alert Gabriel the second he woke up, but that didn’t stop him from being antsy.

“How could you be so _reckless_?” Michael hissed out the word, beginning to pace from side to side in front of Gabriel. “How could you do this to yourself?”

“Oh, come on, Mikey,” Gabriel said condescendingly, giving his brother a meaningful look. “You know better than anyone that _we_ don’t choose who our bonds are.” He barely suppressed an apologetic wince at the reproachful look of pain Michael shot him, but it had to be said.

“Yes,” Michael replied, voice dark. “But you didn’t have to bond with him, you could have left him to die.”

Gabriel shuddered at the idea. “And live alone for the rest of my life?” That’s not what bothered him, really. He had accepted the possibility of living and dying unmated, but the thought of letting the beautiful light that was that man on the cliff be extinguished…his very Grace wept.

“I’d rather have that than this.” Michael stopped pacing, his mouth set in a thin line, hazel eyes dark. “Do you understand what will happen to _you_ if this human rejects your bond? If he refuses to mate?”

There was so much pain in his voice that Gabriel averted his eyes. “I know, Michael.” He was completely sober now, all hint of joking or sarcasm gone. “I’ll do my best to make him stay.”

“You better.” His voice was harsh now, but his eyes were sad when Gabriel raised his own to meet them, Michael stepped forward and placed both hands on his brother’s shoulders and said firmly, “I will not lose another brother.”

Gabriel’s mouth went dry, and he could just nod silently, unsure how to respond to that.

“Don’t worry,” he settled on. “You won’t be losing any brothers. You’ll be gaining one. A very attractive one, at that.”

Michael gave him a very dry look and turned away. “That’s another thing, Gabriel...what about the lineage?” Gabriel let out  a sigh of relief, grateful at the sudden change. “Your children will not be eligible heirs, you know this.”

This time, Gabriel did roll his eyes. “Oh, Mikey, you think I care about that? Besides, you still have Raphael. And Uriel and Balthazar have some royal blood in them, don’t they? Praying Raphael and Uriel ever get laid and Balthazar commits to just one Angel, you could still get a nestful of purebred royal Angels flying about.” He shrugged. “As for my mate and I, we’ll be filling our home with a mix of comically short and freakishly tall Nephilim.”

Gabriel paused, pursed his lips, and cocked his head in thought. “That is, if he even wants children. We haven’t really reached the stage of our relationship where we’re comfortable discussing those things yet. We’re still at the ‘learning each other’s names’ phase.”

Michael scoffed. “You know nothing of this human…and you went and formed a bond with him anyways. I still can’t believe how reckless and immature and—“

“He was dying, Mikey,” Gabriel cut in, irritably.

“I still say you should’ve left him to die.”

Gabriel’s jaw tensed. “That wasn’t a choice.”

Michael was about to respond, something hard-headed and angry judging by the set of his brow, but there was a knock at the door that spared Gabriel. Michael took a breath and called for whoever it was to enter, the door opened to reveal Rachel.

“Castiel sent me,” she said, looking first at Michael, then fixing her gaze on Gabriel. “The human is awake.”

***

The human's name was Sam. Sam Winchester. His eyes were hazel and his voice was richer and sweeter than Gabriel had imagined.  
  
From what Gabriel could understand in between Sam shoveling food into his mouth, he had come to the island with his best friend Brady because Brady had insisted that it was the greatest fishing spot in the world. When they arrived, Brady caught him off-guard, chained him to the rock and took off in their boat.  
  
When Castiel asked him why his friend would do such a thing to him, Sam's face darkened.  
  
"There's this girl, Jessica," he answered, eyes focused on the fish he was tearing to strips on his plate.  
  
Castiel and Gabriel exchanged a worried glance. There was a girl?  
  
"I've been after her for a few months," Sam continued, lips curled in distaste. "She finally agreed to see me a few days ago. Apparently, Brady's been wanting her secretly for a while and decided to get me out of the picture."  
  
Gabriel mentally cursed, fingers curling on his thighs under the table. Sam already had his heart set on someone. He could feel his wings getting heavier.  
  
"So...Gabriel, is it?" Sam chased the last of his meal down with a gulp of fresh spring water and turned to smile at Gabriel.  
  
He had dimples. Gabriel tried to supress a happy flutter of his wings and nodded.  
  
"Castiel says you're the one that saved me." When Gabriel nodded again, he asked, "How'd you manage that? I should have foxes fighting over my dismembered limbs right now, and yet I feel better than I ever have."  
  
"Oh, you know," Gabriel grinned, shrugging lightly. "I just fed you some magical healing Angel Grace. No big deal."  
  
"Angel Grace? What's that?" Sam leaned forward curiously, getting closer to Gabriel and ever though they still had a table between them, Gabriel could feel the warm effect of his proximity and wanted more of it. "I've met a few Angels before, but I don't know much about them."  
  
Before Gabriel could dismiss it, Castiel jumped in, explaining, "Grace is an Angel's essence. It's what differentiates us from humans. It gives us our wings, healing abilities, and other powers. It was at great personal risk that Gabriel fed you some of his."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"No, not really," Gabriel interjected, shooting Castiel a glare.  
  
"Gabriel, he should know." Castiel fixed his brother with that disapproving frown he used whenever Gabriel did...almost anything at all, actually.  
  
"Know what?" Sam asked, frowning now, and Gabriel didn't like that. He preferred Sam smiling.  
  
"Nothing," Gabriel assured him. "Cas is just worried about me because Grace is basically our energy and saving you kinda tired me out. I'm gonna be kind of weak for a couple of days, but it's just a matter of resting up."  
  
Castiel's glare would have made stronger Angels than him wither, but Gabriel was used to it.  
  
"Oh." Sam's brows pinched together. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't you worry your pretty little head about it," Gabriel said cheerily. "It'll just be a few days and I'll be fine. Now, is there anything you need? Anything I can get you?"  
  
"Well..." Sam fiddled with his knife on the table. "If it's not too much trouble, I could use a ride back home. Brady took our boat and it's a bit of a swim, you know?" He chuckled self-consciously, the corner of his lips quirked.  
  
"You can't leave," Castiel blurted out and Sam frowned again.  
  
"Why not? I need to let Jess know I'm not dead. And my brother, too. He must be going crazy. And I need to kick Brady's ass, obviously."  
  
"We understand that," Gabriel said placatingly, "but--"  
  
"You and Gabriel are bonded." Castiel completely ignored the shocked look of outrage Gabriel was using to bore a hole into the side of his head.  
  
"Bonded?" Sam frowned even deeper, looking between one brother to the other and back. "The hell does that mean?"  
  
"It just means that you have my Grace inside of you," Gabriel said quickly before Castiel could explain further. "In my current state, having you too far away from me will cause me to get weaker and heal more slowly."  
  
Castiel looked like he was about to protest, so Gabriel kicked him under the table.  
  
"Oh, okay," Sam muttered, nodded slowly. "I get it. I mean, since you risked all that to save me, I guess the least I could do is stick around till you're all better, right?" He smiled brightly again and Gabriel's breath faltered.  
  
"Can I just ask one favor, though?" Sam asked, slightly shy, and Gabriel perked up, eager to give Sam anything he wanted.  
  
"Anything at all, Sam," Gabriel grinned and Sam beamed back at him.  
  
"Can someone tell my big brother Dean that I'm alive and I'll be home in a few days? He can be a bit neurotic and if Brady's telling people that I'm dead...I'm kind of afraid of what Dean would do."  
  
Gabriel looked over at Castiel and imagined him going away for a just few hours and then someone coming to tell him that his little brother had died and wasn't coming back.  
  
"I can imagine," Gabriel murmured, turning back to Sam. "I'll deliver the message personally."  
  
"No, I'll go," Castiel insisted.  
  
"Nonsense," Gabriel protested, getting up from the table. "You stay here and get Sam whatever he needs."  
  
Castiel got up too and inhaled deeply, nostrils flaring and mouth set in an angry line. He gripped Gabriel's arm tightly and practically hissed through his teeth, "Could I speak to you in private?"  
  
Gabriel glanced at Sam, who was watching them with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. "Uh...no? I'd rather there be witnesses, thanks."  
  
"Too bad." Castiel dragged Gabriel out the door by his arm. Once outside, they were faced with a gaggle of young Angels, muttering and giggling amongst themselves, straining to look over Gabriel and Castiel's shoulders, trying to catch a glimpse of the handsome human inside.  
  
Gabriel beat his wings once threateningly and growled, "Go away. This one's taken."  
  
The Angels dispersed, grumbling in disappointment.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?" Castiel demanded once they were alone.  
  
"Not sure what you're referring to," Gabriel replied honestly.  
  
"Well, first of all," not explaining to Sam the full extent of your bond?" Castiel crossed his arms, looking like a mother scolding her child.  
  
Gabriel sighed. "I don't want him to think that I'm going to die if he chooses to leave."  
  
"That's just it, Gabriel! You will die!"  
  
"Will you lower your voice?!" Gabriel hissed, then groaned and ran hand over his face. "I know that, but I don't want him to know it. I don't want to make him feel obligated or guilt him into being my mate. He'll resent me forever and I don't want that. I want him to love me in his own time and choose me of his own will."  
  
Castiel pressed his lips together and looked away in frustration.  
  
"All right, fine. I get that," he said after a moment. "But what about flying to the mainland? I can do it. You are in no condition to be flying so far. Especially when you'd be putting so much distance between you and your bond, which will make you even weaker."  
  
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Please. I'm good for a few hours' flight. I'm not dying just yet. Besides, I have to. You've never been bonded with a human, Cas. You don't know what it's like. I have to make him happy, do stuff for him. It's pretty annoying, but it's this weird, uncontrollable urge." Gabriel scowled. He didn't really like the idea of being a slave to this human's ever whim, but what could he do about it?  
  
"I'll be back by nightfall," he said, not letting Castiel's disapproving look discourage him. "Midnight at latest. Don't tell him anything, all right? I'll never forgive you if you do."  
  
Castiel snorted. "Of course you would. You don't have the attention span to hold a grudge. Especially against me."  
  
Gabriel ruffled Castiel's hair. "You're probably right. Don't let that go to your head, though."

***

Gabriel didn’t come back by midnight. By the time he did get back in the early hours of the morning, Castiel’s wings were sporting a few bald spots. Sam had spent most of the night trying to keep him from ripping out all his feathers in worry.

The reason Gabriel had been so late was currently hugging Sam and laughing heartily, bragging about how he’d known all along that Sam wasn’t dead, even if his teary eyes betrayed just how worried he’d been and the amount of relief he was feeling now.

Off to the side, Castiel and Gabriel watched Sam and Dean’s reunion. Castiel asked him in a quiet tone why he’d brought Dean along with him if all Sam had wanted was to have a message delivered.

“When I found him,” Gabriel explained, “he was packing up a boat, getting ready to set out and search for Sam. I told him that Sam was alive but couldn’t go home for a while and he lost it. He pinned my wings down and wouldn’t let me go till I agreed to bring him here.”

“ _He what?!”_ Castiel bellowed, eyes flashing in anger and Gabriel winced, realizing too late that telling him that might have been a bad idea. Castiel’s wings flared in aggression, feathers standing on end like the fur on a cat’s spine.

His outburst gained the attention of the happy brothers, who turned and found a furious Angel glaring daggers at Dean, who took a step back out of instinct.

“Easy there, kiddo,” Gabriel said, gripping Castiel’s shoulder. “No need to go all Avenging Angel on the human. He didn’t know. Didn’t mean anything by it.”

Castiel took several deep breaths, still glaring at Dean, who just stared stonily back at him. Sam looked between them, probably wondering how the hell Dean had managed to piss off his new friend having arrived only a few minutes ago. It didn't seem to be something that surprised him, though.

"I suppose," Castiel muttered after a moment, shoulders easing and wings folding in against his back again. He narrowed his eyes at Dean and said severely, "For future reference, don't you _ever_ pin down an Angel's wings without their express consent. Understand?"

Dean exchanged a look with Sam before looking back at Castiel. “All right, man, sorry. I didn’t know that was wrong.”

Placated by Dean’s response, Castiel nodded and relaxed again, wings tucked into his back.

“So…” Sam mumbled, trying to break through the leftover tension. “How’s Jess?” he asked Dean eagerly. Gabriel swallowed thickly and felt his wings droop.

“Brady told everyone that there’d been a storm, you’d gotten tossed overboard and drowned. She was pretty broken up when she heard that. Wouldn’t stop crying.”

Sam looked so happy at the prospect of Jess caring so much and Gabriel’s sagged even farther, brushing the ground at his feet. Castiel gently touched their wings together in silent comfort, sensing his brother’s unhappiness.

“Unfortunately,” Dean continued with an apologetic wince, “she seems to have found plenty of solace in Brady.”

Sam’s face fell and Gabriel felt kind of bad about the sense of satisfaction and hope that surged through him.

“Seriously?” Sam whined.

“Sorry, man.” Dean squeezed his brother’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. As soon as we get back home, I’m tearing the guy’s head off anyways, so it’s not like it’s gonna matter in the long run.”

Sam chuckled softly, but didn’t seem to be very reassured. Gabriel wanted to change the subject, get his mind off it, but Dean beat him to it.

“So could _you_ explain to me why you can’t come home yet? Your friend Wings over there wasn’t very straightforward when he explained it to me.”

Sam looked up at Gabriel, who had his eyes narrowed at Dean, and laughed. Gabriel relaxed immediately and smiled. So _that’s_ what it sounded like. It was lovelier than Gabriel had expected.

“His name is Gabriel, Dean,” Sam chastised lightly. “And be nice. I’d be dead if it weren’t for him.” He appraised Gabriel with such a warm, fond smile that Gabriel’s knees actually went weak. Fortunately, Sam turned to Dean again before he could notice.

“Let’s take a walk and I’ll explain it. _You,_ ” he commanded, turning to look at Gabriel again. “Get some sleep. You probably wore yourself out more than you should have thanks to my dumbass brother here. I’ll come by later and keep you company so you recuperate faster, all right?”

Gabriel felt like singing. Not only was Sam concerned about him, but he was planning on spending time with him later. He was so happy that he could barely feel the bone-deep exhaustion of flying over Dean’s boat all night and guiding him.

“All right,” Gabriel said, barely containing his excitement. “Don’t stray too far. The woods are tricky if you don’t know your way through them. Just yell if you get lost and I’ll come find you.”

Sam smiled and nodded in reassurance, leading Dean away.

“Woah, what’s with the angelic babysitter?” Dean asked Sam once their backs were turned.

“He’s just protective,” Sam replied, turning to wink at Gabriel over his shoulder, making Gabriel’s wings flutter. “Which is part of why I can’t go home just yet.”

As Gabriel and Castiel walked away in the opposite direction, Gabriel headed to his cabin to sleep, he heard Dean ask, “And what was up with that other Angel? I thought he was going to rip my lungs out of my chest.”

“Castiel? Cas is fine. He’s a great guy. I guess he’s just really defensive of his reckless older brother. I think I can relate, you know?”

***

“What was up with Cas earlier?” Sam asked, hours later as he stepped over roots and brushed his hands along tree barks. Dean had brought along some of Sam’s clothes with him just in case and Sam had changed out of the soft, earthy hemp clothes Castiel had provided for him after Gabriel had left.

Gabriel thought he preferred Sam in his own clothes, even if the pattern on his shirt was a bit of an eyesore and the fabric of his pants looked a little too heave to be comfortable. They fit Sam better and he wore them well, like a second skin. They were very _Sam_ and Gabriel was becoming enamored with everything that fit that description.

“You mean when he threatened Dean?” Gabriel asked, watching Sam walk instead of his own steps. He knew the woods like the back of his hand and Sam was more interesting anyways. Much more beautiful. It was the first time they were alone together and Gabriel wanted to enjoy it completely.

“Yeah, that,” Sam laughed, which was quickly becoming Gabriel’s favorite sound in the world. “What was that about?”

“I told Castiel about Dean pinning down my wings and he got kind of pissed, as you saw.”

“Why? Is that bad?” Sam asked curiously. It was so endearing how inquisitive Sam was. Hungry to learn all he could about the Angels and their culture, their anatomy, their diet, everything. Some of his brothers and sisters had told him how Sam had gone around like a fledgling, asking them all sorts of questions, while Gabriel had been resting.

“Our Grace is produced  by a second heart,” Gabriel started explaining.

“Angels have _two_ hearts?” Sam exclaimed, almost tripping over a root in his excitement.

Gabriel chuckled. “That’s right, kiddo. The second one pumps the Grace through us like blood. You know how humans have certain pressure points in their body that instantly block certain processes?”

Sam nodded enthusiastically and stopped in his tracks to face Gabriel and listen intently to his every word.

“Our wings are like two giant pressure points,” Gabriel continued, trying to keep his tongue from stumbling under Sam’s undivided attention. “Pinning them blocks our Grace completely. Unless an Angel is mated,” Gabriel added as an afterthought. “If an Angel is mated, their Grace flows through their mate freely, so if they get pinned, and their mate is nearby, they still have some of their powers. If not, the Angel can’t fly, heal, or use any of their powers.”

“So Cas thought Dean was going to try to hurt you?”

“Not exactly.” Gabriel cocked his head and leaned back against a tree, facing Sam, who was doing the same. “See, pinning an Angel’s wings is a sign of dominance. Mothers do it to misbehaved fledglings, superiors do it to unruly subjects, opponents do it in a fight.” He chuckled lightly. “You can only imagine how many times my mother and Michael did it to me as a fledgling.”

Sam’s face split in a grin. “Michael’s the leader, right? Your older brother? I think I have a pretty good idea; I doubt you were an easy kid to deal with.”

Gabriel laughed again, nodding. “Guilty. But not even Michael dares pin me down anymore. I’m a full-grown Archangel now, so I’ve got a pretty high standing in the hierarchy, even if I don’t act like it. Pinning down a non-consenting Angel, especially a high-ranking one, is the greatest sign of disrespect. That’s what pissed Cas off so much. He was defending my honor, you could say.”

Sam winced apologetically. “I swear Dean didn’t mean any kind of offense. I guess he was just desperate. If he had known, I’m sure he wouldn’t have done it.”

“Which is why I didn’t kill him right there,” Gabriel grinned. “Had he been an Angel, I would have been completely within my rights to. Even _expected_ to.”

Sam shifted uncomfortably, looking as though he wanted to apologize on behalf of his brother again, but said instead, “You and Cas both mentioned Angels not consenting to being pinned. Do Angels ever consent to it?”

“Sometimes,” Gabriel said slowly, careful with how he was going to word his answer. This was headed in a dangerous direction and if Sam started asking him the right questions, Gabriel wasn’t sure he’d be able to withhold the truth from him. “It’s mostly between mates, though.”

“Huh,” Sam muttered, eyeing the arch of Gabriel’s wings visible over his shoulders. “Your wings are really important to you guys, then? They’re more than just extra limbs.”

“They attract potential mates, show your standing or power, let us fly, sometimes communicate with each other. They can express our moods and sometimes even be used as weapons if need be.” Right now, each one of Gabriel’s feathers was trembling, itching to expand fully and really give Sam something to look at, to call his mate and show that they were willing to be pinned. But he kept them tight against his back.

Sam smiled shyly and met Gabriel’s eyes. “Sorry if I’m being forward, but I have to say that your wings are the most amazing I’ve seen. I mean, Cas’ are beautiful, all black and sleek…but yours are just stunning.”

Gabriel was two seconds away from getting on his knees and begging Sam to mate with him.

“That’s because you haven’t seen Michael’s,” he said instead, trying to fight off a blush in reaction to such a compliment. “Or Raphael’s. They’re the only ones high ranking than me, so their wings are—“

Sam didn’t seem to even be paying attention, eyes tracking every involuntary twitch Gabriel’s wings made under his scrutiny.

“Would you like to touch them?” Gabriel asked, eyebrow raised.

That got Sam’s attention rather quickly and his eyes snapped up to Gabriel’s, his cheeks coloring slightly. “I…well, if it wouldn’t be too inappropriate,” he stammered and Gabriel thought there was nothing more precious than a nervous Sam Winchester.

“Not at all.” Gabriel shifted and released one wing, extending it towards Sam. It was large and lush, the feathers a deep gold that seemed to glow, the sunlight filtering in through the branches shifting through the feathers as the moved.

Gabriel could see Sam gulp as he tentatively reached out a hand to touch. The feeling was immediate, a pleasant warmth that flowed from Sam’s fingertips, through each feather, into his bones, and stroked his very Grace.

“It feels like silk,” Sam murmured, pushing his fingers in slightly, feeling the feathers glide smoothly between them. Gabriel bit his lip, trying to stop from moaning at the sensation.

Gabriel had always loved getting his wings groomed and having it be Sam touching his wings now made it a million times better. His other wing jerked almost angrily, crying out for the same attention.

“Does it bother you?” Sam asked, pulling his hand away. Gabriel’s wing chased his fingers briefly before Gabriel reined it in and tucked it behind him again.

He scoffed and entertained the idea of telling Sam just how _bothered_ he was by having his wings stroked, although probably not in the sense Sam had probably meant. “Absolutely not,” he said. “It’s nice. Like when someone plays with your hair, you know?”

Sam nodded, grinning, and pushed his hair out of his face with one hand. “I like that. I usually fall asleep when people play with my hair.”

 _Thanks for the info,_ Gabriel thought, filing that away for later use.

“We should head back to the village,” Gabriel suggested, pushing away from the tree. “It’s almost dinnertime.”

Sam pushed away from his tree as well, gesturing for Gabriel to lead the way. If Gabriel fluttered and flexed and stretched his wings the while time to try to tempt and attract Sam, no one was there to call him out on it.

***

They had dinner in Gabriel’s home. Sam had agreed to Gabriel’s invitation to stay there until he could leave. Dean had also been invited to stay there, but had felt it would be slightly crowded, so Castiel had offered his own home. The two were getting along better since their less-than-warm first impression.

Since Dean saw no problem with coming to a village uninvited, accepting a kind stranger’s hospitality and food, Sam excused the intrusion on his behalf in addition to his own, again and again. Both Castiel and Gabriel had gotten tired of assuring him that it was no bother and they were both welcome guests and had just given up.

They chatted throughout dinner, Sam and Dean talking about their lives back home. They had been raised by their father, their mother having died in a fire when Sam had been a baby. Their father John was apparently a heavy drinker, so Dean had taken care of Sam most of his life, which was obvious by the prideful way he bragged about how smart his little brother was. How he was practically a genius and how hard he worked for his education.

Gabriel looked at Sam throughout Dean’s speech, watching his cheeks coloring and his shoulders hunching in embarrassment. At one point, he retaliated, describing how Dean was the best hunter in their village, was an expert in weaponry and handy in construction, having helped build some houses for friends. Dean just shrugged and mumbled something dismissive before focusing on his food and Sam smiled in victory.

Once they were finished with their meal, Dean let his utensils clatter on the table and groaned in satisfaction, slouching down in his seat.

“I could really go for some dessert,” Dean rumbled. “Got any pie?”

“Sorry,” Gabriel said, picking up everyone’s plates and piling them up on his own. “We don’t have pastries here. I get them from the mainland and I haven’t been there in a few weeks, save for last night.”

“You’ve been to the mainland before?” Sam asked and Gabriel nodded as he got up to take the plates to the kitchen.

“Gabriel grows wonderful fruits and berries here,” Castiel explained, “which he takes to the mainland to trade for the pastries and delicacies he enjoys so much. Sometimes he brings some back to share, but Michael doesn’t allow him to make them here.”

“That’s a shame,” Gabriel heard Sam lament as he rinsed off the plates. “Pie sounds pretty good right now.”

Gabriel’s spine tingled with that same feeling he got before, when Sam had asked about sending Dean a message. His fingers itched, the need to give Sam even this one simple desire consuming him. He looked over at a basket of apples he had on his counter and glared, as if it were the apples’ fault they weren’t in pie form that he could give to his would-be mate.

 

It wasn’t fair, Gabriel thought as he focused on cleaning his dishes. He had the flour, the sugar, the cinnamon, and everything he needed to make a pie with just a touch of his Grace. But Michael was very strict about separating human and angelic customs in their village.

Gabriel sighed and turned to glare at the apples again and noticed that a few of them had gone missing in the five seconds he hadn’t been looking. He frowned and suddenly, the warm scent of freshly baked goods he loved so much from the bakeries on the mainland filled his nose and he let the plates clatter in the sink. He turned around, drying his hands, and saw a freshly baked pie sitting on the counter behind him, steam rising idly from the light brown crust.

Grinning, Gabriel grabbed four clean plates and a knife, picked up the pie, and headed out of the kitchen.

“Look what I found!” he announced brightly, entering the dining room with the pie held aloft.

All three pairs of eyes widened, Sam and Dean’s lighting up with glee while Castiel’s filled with bewilderment.

“Where’d you get that?” Castiel asked suspiciously.

“Yeah,” Sam agreed, although he tracked the pie with hungry eyes and a watering mouth. “You said you didn’t have any.”

“Do you want the pie?” Gabriel asked, mock-testily. “Or are you just gonna question it? Should I take it back?”

“No!” Dean blurted. He smacked Sam’s shoulder. “Don’t interrogate the man. Just enjoy the pie.”

Gabriel set down the pie and handed Dean the knife, who happily began slicing it up.

“Just don’t tell Michael,” Gabriel said, taking his seat next to Castiel, who was watching him with a slightly accusatory look.

Sam and Dean nodded enthusiastically, focused on their pie. Before digging into his own slice, Sam served one for Gabriel and offered one to Cas, who politely declined.

As they enjoyed their pie, Gabriel kept glancing at Sam, who caught his gaze and gave him a small, friendly smiled. Gabriel kept that warm, personal smile close to his heat as he savored the pie that he still had no explanation for.

***

The strange, unwitting manifestations of Gabriel’s Grace continued to happen after the mysterious pie incident. It only ever occurred when Sam wanted something, like and extra pillow to sleep on, a certain treat the Angels didn’t have on the island, or a refreshing breeze if he complained it was too hot out.

On one such occasion, Sam was telling Gabriel about the dog he had back home and how much he missed playing with him. Gabriel had merely considered calling one of the village dogs to keep Sam company and a moment later, one of the dogs had vanished from its pen on the other side of the village and rushed to Sam, yapping and nipping his ankles, rolling over and barking excitedly.

After that, Gabriel decided it was time to consult Castiel to figure out what was happening. He explained to Cas that even though he could feel his Grace getting weaker the longer he and Sam went without mating, his Grace was doing things it wasn’t able to do before, and he couldn’t control it.

Castiel admitted to having asked a few of the healers he worked with after the incident with the pie and they directed him to some books that might be able to help him.

The information Castiel found was extremely helpful and also extremely distressing, because it showed just how much Gabriel needed Sam. Gabriel wondered how he was going to hide his condition from Sam while getting closer to him at the same time. Unfortunately, Sam was very astute and observant, so Gabriel could only hope he wouldn’t notice.

***

“What’s up with your wings, Gabriel?” Sam asked out of the blue one day as they watched Dean entertaining a group of female Angels by the lake. It was kind of sickening to watch them giggle and swoon when he flashed a grin at them, even more sickening to watch Dean eat up the attention, but they both got a kick out of making fun of them.

“Nothing,” Gabriel lied, focusing on the group at the edge of the lake and not looking at Sam.

“Really?” Sam leaned down and picked something off the ground. “Because I’ve been hanging around dozens of Angels for four days now, and none of them are dropping their feathers all over the place.” He twirled the feather he was holding between his fingers and Gabriel’s wings tucked in closer to his back instinctively, ashamed at the ugly dull yellow color of it, not at all like the bright gold it was supposed to be.

It was one of the many that had been falling out recently and Gabriel was sure there were some unappealing bald spots in his wings, but was too ashamed to check them.

“Your eyes are sunken in,” Sam said and when Gabriel turned to look at him, he was met with the saddest expression he’d seen on Sam’s face yet. Something inside him shriveled up and ached. “Your skin is pallid and you’re getting weaker each day. I can see it and I know Cas is worried too. You’re not getting better, are you?”

Sam’s eyes shone and Gabriel’s hand flashed out to grip his.

“Hey, now, come on,” he said firmly, meeting Sam’s eyes dead on. “I’m _fine._ ”

“Then why are you getting worse?” He sounded so upset that Gabriel was conflicted between feeling elated that he cared so much and horrified that he was feeling that way at all. “I thought being around me was supposed to help you heal because of that whole Grace…bond…thing…”

Gabriel gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand before releasing it. “It’s just…” He searched for an excuse that would make sense without excluding too much of the truth because he couldn’t bear the thought of lying to Sam now.

“I don’t have a mate,” he settled on, which was heartbreakingly true. “Angels are stronger with a mate. I don’t have one, ergo I’m weaker and get worse before I get better.”

Sam snorted, but there was no humor to it. “You’re lying.” At Gabriel’s frown, Sam’s lips quirked and he turned back to watching Dean and his admirers. “You lie like Dean. Like an overprotective big brother. I bet Cas can see through your crap each time, but doesn’t call you out on it.”

“I—“

“I’m not gonna force you to answer me,” Sam continued, looking down at his lap and the feather in his hands. “It’s not my business and you don’t owe me anything. In fact, I owe _you…_ but I just want you to know that I feel responsible for this.”

“You shouldn’t.” Gabriel’s chest felt tight.

“But I do.” Sam’s eyes were bright and sincere when he looked at Gabriel. “And if there’s anything I can do to help you, I want to do it. Just keep that in mind, okay?”

Sam tossed the feather aside on the ground and made a disgusted face as he watched a blonde Angel blatantly flaunt her wings for his brother.

“Is it possible for an Angel to mate with a human?”

The change of subject was so abrupt that Gabriel reeled for a moment, heart caught in his throat. “Wh-What?”

Sam chuckled. “It’s just…” He gestured at the group by the lake, Dean laughing heartily, one arm around an Angel’s waist. “I’m concerned about Dean corrupting one of those poor girls. He’s already gone through every girl in our village and I think he’s looking to…er…expand his horizons.”

“Oh…” It was hard to hide his disappointment, but he schooled his features to look uncaring and amused. He should have realized it was improbable that Sam would be thinking about mating with him so soon. “It’s possible. Kind of rare, but not unheard of.”

“How does it work?” Sam shifted so he was facing Gabriel now, focusing all his attention on him like he did when he was asking questions and learning new things. “You said mated Angels have each other’s Grace in them, but humans don’t have Grace to share. And I have your Grace in me, but we’re not mates.” Gabriel’s pulse jumped. “How does it work?”

The subject was dangerously close to touching the topic wanted to avoid most, just a hair’s breadth and a slip of the tongue away. He had to be careful with what he answered so he could abate Sam’s curiosity without raising anymore questions. It was a fine line he was treading. Sam was always full of questions.

“Angels aren’t mates just by sharing Grace. That’s how we bond, which comes first. If we choose to mate after bonding—“ he left out the part where the choice was between mating or withering away until they died—“we do it like any other creature of nature.”

It took Sam a second to catch on, but Gabriel could tell his message had gotten across when his cheeks colored pink. Indulging in a grin, he continued talking.

“Now, Dean can have sex with any of those desperate, unfortunate girls over there, but that wouldn’t mean they were mated. During mating, Angels take turns pinning each other’s wings down. It’s an act of submission, of giving yourself over completely to your partner, tying you together forever.”

“How would that work with a human, though?”

“The same way.” Gabriel shrugged as if the conversation wasn’t really interesting or meaningful to him, but he could feel his wings twitching anxiously. “The human pins down the Angel. It’s a lot more one-sided and not very healthy or recommended for Angels. They’re not as strong as an Angel mated with another Angel and humans have shorter life expectancy than Angels. Angels are like swans…if your mate strays or dies, you’re going soon after. It’s both tragically romantic and horribly inconvenient.”

Sam’s eyebrows furrowed deeply. “Why would an Angel risk all that?”

Gabriel looked down at his feet. “Why do people do crazy, reckless things?” _Like risk their life for a complete stranger._ “Love, Sam. Like I said, it’s not recommended, but if an Angel were to find the right human…” He hazarded a look at Sam and found a warm smile directed at him.

Sam didn’t reply to that comment and faced forward again, looking pleased and satisfied. There was a comfortable silence where they enjoyed the warmth of the sun and the sound of water splashing and laughter as Dean and the Angels played in the lake. It wasn’t awkward, but Gabriel felt a longing ache, coveting contact with Sam. He wanted to shift closer and feel his warmth at his side, or take his hand and hold it wordlessly, or lean against him and relax. He yearned so much for it and couldn’t even bring himself to feel pathetic for needing Sam so much already.

“You could groom my wings,” he said, suddenly struck by the idea. It was so simple and wonderful and it had him practically buzzing from how much he wanted it.

“Pardon?” Sam frowned.

“You said you’d do anything to help me,” Gabriel replied matter-of-factly. “Stroking my wings makes me feel better.” He untucked one wing and pulled it over Sam’s head so he could stretch it out over his thighs, smiling at him expectantly.

With a smile creeping over his face, Sam carefully adjusted Gabriel’s wing on his lap so he could comfortably run his fingers through the soft feathers, scratching lightly. Gabriel sighed happily and focused on nothing but Sam’s fingers and the warmth that seeped from them. It wasn’t healing him or revitalizing his strength, but it made him feel a whole lot better and a whole lot happier.

Gabriel didn’t feel himself slumping over as Sam continued stroking his wings, but he felt it when his head landed on Sam’s shoulder. He also felt Sam’s body shake slightly with an amused chuckle, but he didn’t feel Sam pushing him away, which made him even happier.

***

The other Angels in the village could see there was something wrong with Gabriel. They noticed the stray feathers that littered the ground, the dragging of his legs when he walked around, the difficulty he had carrying certain objects and how quickly he got tired if he went too long without sitting or taking a break. Most especially, they noticed the lack of pranks around the village. None of them knew for sure what was causing Gabriel's recent debilitation, they just knew it had something to do with the two humans that had been hanging around—especially the tall, long-haired one that Gabriel was so vigilant and possessive of.

The only ones who knew for sure what was happening to Gabriel were Castiel and Michael, and they weren't telling anyone.

Castiel spent every waking minute trailing after either Gabriel or the two brothers, keeping an eye on them. Since Gabriel was usually where Sam was and Sam was usually where Dean was, keeping track of them wasn't particularly difficult. To anyone who knew him, it was very obvious how worried Castiel was for his older brother.

Michael, on the other hand, was coping with his worry exactly the opposite of Castiel. He was keeping to himself in his cabin, not coming out to interact or speak to anyone. His messengers delivered his word to everyone if he had something important to say, but other than that, no one knew anything of him. Not even Gabriel or Raphael could get to him.

Even the two humans were concerned with Gabriel's health.

The only one who seemed completely untroubled by his condition was Gabriel himself. He preferred to focus on making Sam happy.

This, however, made Castiel even more frustrated, and he was beginning to look as sick as Gabriel.

"You have to tell him soon, Gabriel!" Castiel was practically shouting, and he never shouted. He was an expert in keeping his emotions in check and under control, unlike Gabriel who never regulated his thoughts, let them flow unchecked as soon as they came to him

"I can't!" Gabriel shouted back. "He'll feel like he'll be forced to—“

"I don't _care_!" They were inches away from each other, both red in the face, spitting and hissing at each other like wild beasts. "If he'll feel forced to do anything, it'll be save your life and I don't see how that would be a problem!"

"Don't act stupid, Cas," Gabriel snarled. "You're supposed to be the brains here. You know that if he chooses it, it's for forever and I can't force him into that kind of commitment. He has to want it."

"I think he cares enough about you to want you to _not die_ ," Castiel retorted, nostrils flaring and blue eyes flashing.

"I'm not dying," Gabriel grumbled petulantly, knowing it was a weak argument and a false one at that.

Castiel scoffed coldly. "You're right. Dying implies dignity. You're _wasting away_ and stubbornly refusing to face it like a _coward_."

A lance of fury sparked through Gabriel and he reached out his hand in a flash, curling his fingers around the arch of Castiel's wing in a tight fist, crushing feathers in his grip and squeezing bone, making Castiel groan and slump down, face screwed up in pain.

"Watch your tongue, boy," Gabriel hissed. "I may be sick, but I'm still your elder and superior."

Castiel's eyes opened and even though his mouth was still twisted in a grimace, they shone in defiance and Gabriel squeezed tighter, but Castiel refused to submit to him, too angry to feel fear.

"Are we interrupting something?" Dean's voice broke through the tension suddenly and Gabriel released his grip immediately.

Castiel straightened up, flexing his wing to relieve the soreness, massaging the arch with his opposite hand, wincing slightly. He glanced at the doorway, found Sam's alarmed face, and his angry scowl melted away as he turned back to Gabriel, his face stoic as usual, even if his eyes betrayed his pain.

"I lost Anael not too long ago, if you've already forgotten," he said bitterly, and Gabriel winced at the mention of their forsaken sister. "I'd rather not lose you as well."

"Cas," he started, all anger gone from his voice, but Castiel shook his head, averting his eyes.

"If you will not accept your condition and do something about it," Castiel said forlornly, "then all I can wish is that your death comes as easy as your denial."

Before Gabriel could respond, Castiel was storming away and shouldering his way past the Winchesters, slamming the door behind him.

Gabriel didn't look up, not wanting to face Sam and Dean's expressions or, even worse, their questions.

"Dean," he heard Sam say as he turned away, flexing the hand that had attacked Castiel as if he were angry at it. "Could you go check on Cas, please?"

"Sure thing, Sammy," Dean muttered, using the nickname Gabriel had quickly learned was for his use and his use only. The sound of the door opening again and closing, gently this time, reached Gabriel's ears and he was suddenly hyperaware that he was alone in his house with Sam and that Sam was going to have even more questions than he usually did.

"Gabriel..."

"I don't want to talk about it, Sam," Gabriel said darkly, his Grace rebelling against denying Sam anything, even just a conversation or an explanation.

"Too fucking bad," Sam snapped and Gabriel turned to look at him with raised eyebrows. He'd seen Sam happy, sad, and curious with him, but never annoyed or upset. "Cas just said that you're dying and that is _my_ fault."

"It is not," Gabriel protested, but Sam wasn't swayed.

"Really? Because you were fine before you saved me, from what I hear. In fact, I heard you had lured a stray deer into the village to scare a bunch of fledglings as a prank just the day before you found me." Sam crossed his arms over his chest and glared. "You were just _fine_ and then you come across me dying, save my ass, and suddenly _you’re_ the one that's dying."

"That doesn't mean it's your fault," Gabriel argued, sitting down heavily and rubbing his temples with one hand. He was too tired for this conversation. "It was my choice to save you, so the fault is completely my own."

Sam pulled up a chair and sat down in it facing Gabriel, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, a somber look on his face. "You said you were going to get better, Gabriel, and now I hear that you're not, that you're actually getting worse." He sighed heavily. "Please stop lying to me, tell me how I can help you."

"You can't," Gabriel replied glumly, glaring at the tabletop.

"Bullshit!" Sam exclaimed suddenly. "There's a reason you and Cas haven't let me off the island yet, and that's because there is something I can do to help you, I just know it."

“There is.” His tongue moved, instinctively rebelling against lying to Sam, but he tried to swallow the words, not wanting to let them out. “But you might not like it, and I wouldn’t force you to do it,” he added.

“That’s my choice, isn’t it?” Sam asked, almost angry. “Let me make it.”

Gabriel swallowed, avoided Sam’s eyes. “You…You’d have to agree to mate with me…” He hazarded a glance up at Sam, found Sam’s eyes wide and cheeks pink, and flashed his eyes away again. “My body is getting weaker because I’m bonded, but not mated, and my Grace—this bit I actually learned a few days ago from Cas’ books—is trying to fix it by, get this—“ he smirked wryly, amused by how silly it sounded “— _courting_ you. Giving you things and keeping you happy so you’ll fall in love with me or something. It’s an angelic defense mechanism in the case of human mating, apparently. I had no idea.”

Sam was quiet, but Gabriel could practically hear his thoughts turning in his head, watch them flitting across his face as he processed.

“So…” he said slowly, then fell back into silence for a moment, not quite finished processing. “Mating?” His voice was kind of thin, weak from shock. “If I… _mate_ with you…you get better?”

“Yes…but you can’t just mate with me just to save me and then go on with your life. If you—“

“Right, right,” Sam mumbled, looking away, brow furrowed in thought. “’Stray away or die’, like you said. Like swans…” He bit his lip and his brow furrowed even deeper. “…what happens if I say no?”

Gabriel held his breath for a minute, battled the urge to tell Sam the awful truth, the truth that Gabriel knew would set Sam’s mind. “Nothing too bad,” he forced out, feeling his Grace recoil. “I stop dying, which is the important bit. But I’ll never be as strong or powerful as the other mated Angels and I’ll never be able to bond or mate with anyone else. But unmated Angels aren’t exactly rare. I’ll just go back to living my life as if you’d never showed up.”

 _Liar, liar, liar!_ his brain shrieked, his fingers curling into his palms under the table to hold himself together.

Sam was staring down at the table, considering everything, and Gabriel realized how pivotal his response would be right now.

If Sam said no, not only did that mean the end for Gabriel, but it meant that there had never been a hope for Gabriel at all, that Sam was too in love with Jessica to even consider anyone else. If Sam said yes...well... _yes._ But if Sam didn't reply, even if he just considered it, that meant there was still some hope for Gabriel.

"I don't know what to do..." Sam admitted, voice small, and Gabriel's heart felt feather-light. "Can I...have a few days, maybe?" He scrunched up his face, looking apologetic and confused, and Gabriel thought he was precious. "Do you think you can hold out a few more days?"

Practicing an enormous amount of self-restraint, Gabriel refrained from saying that he'd wait forever for Sam and just said, "I'm a big, strong Angel. I can wait till you think things through properly." He gave Sam a reassuring, warm smile and Sam flashed one back at him.

"Good...okay...thanks..."  In a second, he had shot up from his chair, leaned across the table and pecked Gabriel's lips gently with his own, his fingers just brushing Gabriel's jaw. When he pulled away, Gabriel's awed and shocked eyes looking up at him, he smiled shyly and blustered, "Just...uh...just wanted to see...what it was like...to make a proper decision, y'know..."

Gabriel's mouth quirked. "If you wanted an example of what kissing me is like, all you had to do was ask, kiddo. That wasn't a good one at all." He pulled Sam's face down again, kissed him for real, lips firm and determined, tongue just peeking shyly behind them. Sam lost his balance a little but caught himself and responded, kissing back full-force, and Gabriel could swear he felt a smile taking shape. When he pulled away, his lips were just a little redder than before, a little more lively, and he said, " _That_ was a good example. What’d you think?"

With his face an inch away and a breathy smile on his lips—the lips Gabriel had just _kissed,_ oh God—Sam said, "I'll let you know." He turned around and walked out the door, leaving Gabriel alone.

Gabriel decided to take a nap and dreamt of soft lips and strong fingers in silky feathers.

***

The 'just because' experiments persisted after the kiss.

Sam took Gabriel's hand in his as they walked through the village together; came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him, resting his head against Gabriel's; sat by the lake and groomed Gabriel's wings till Gabriel was falling asleep against him; stole a kiss or two. Every time, he said he just wanted to 'see how it felt'. See if it felt good enough to want to keep doing it for the rest of his life, Gabriel understood, even if Sam never said it.

Both Castiel and Dean noticed at once, and Castiel seemed satisfied, happier, less concerned. The bags under his eyes faded and his wings slowly returned to their healthy gloss. Dean snickered and called Sam names (which Gabriel took as a good sign). They’d start teasing each other back and forth, which usually resulted in a wrestling match, Castiel and Gabriel watching on in amusement. Sometimes they called out friendly suggestions: 'Knock his legs out!', 'Put him in a headlock!', 'On your left, watch out!'

Gabriel didn't always side with Sam, sometimes cheered Dean on instead, which earned him half-glares and amused-but-pretending-not-to-be looks from Sam. Afterwards, Sam would refuse to stroke Gabriel's wings, but would eventually give in, pecking Gabriel's lips softly.

It went on for a few days, Sam and Gabriel continuing their little dance, always avoiding the subject and growing closer and closer while keeping an appropriate distance between them. _There might be something here, but there might also not be, so let's not make too big a deal about it just in case it falls through._

Gabriel would be lying if he said he wasn't immensely enjoying the attention Sam gave him, but he couldn't help but feel it was just a little cruel. Sam was giving him all this hope, making him think that there was no possible way Sam would say no to him, but then Sam would step away, avert his eyes, and sink into his thoughts and Gabriel knew he was doubting it, knew he was really evaluating whether Gabriel was worth it or not. After a while, Sam would go back to normal and spend time with him and flirt with him and give Gabriel hope again, but Gabriel _wouldn't know._ Was he acting like this because he genuinely liked it and wanted more of it, or because he actually didn't like it, felt guilty about it and was trying to force himself to enjoy it? Gabriel couldn't just outright _ask,_ partly because he didn't want to make Sam feel uncomfortable and partly because he was afraid of the answer.

It wasn't an easy situation for Sam either, Gabriel forced himself to acknowledge. He felt responsible and guilty, his compassion making it difficult for him to not even try to help Gabriel. And if Gabriel's hopes were founded and Sam did actually feel something for him, that would be conflicting with his feelings for that Jessica girl. The circumstances weren't in their favor and it was a difficult place to be in, but Gabriel petulantly, selfishly thought that it wasn't a matter of life or death for _Sam,_ that Sam should have a little more consideration. Sometimes he thought about telling Sam that, when Sam ventured off into his thoughts and Gabriel got anxious to know what he was thinking, but then he remembered that he hadn't told Sam about that at all. The fact that Sam was still sticking around Gabriel, still considering the option, meant that Gabriel had made the right decision in not telling him that.

Castiel warned that lies were not a good foundation for a relationship, but Gabriel figured that he would tell Sam after they were mated. And if Sam decided not to mate after all, then it wouldn't matter anyway.

***

When Gabriel got violently sick one day, Sam knew his time was running out.

 All the time that they spent together, Gabriel made a valiant effort to hide just how weak he felt. Whenever they took a walk together, Gabriel would tire out. Sam would pause while he took a break, lean against a tree and make a snarky comment about getting winded trying to keep up with Sam's mile-long legs. Sam would force out a chuckle, but there was a tension between them, a sad silence where they both knew what was happening, both wanted to acknowledge it, but knew that talking about it would fracture the sweet little world that their current state of 'courting' allowed them to live in.

Gabriel started sleeping longer and more frequently, leaving Sam to make breakfast (not that he really minded; there was a curious domestic feeling to it that he kind of liked) and taking naps during the day.

As Sam watched—and tried to ignore—Gabriel got weaker and weaker. He started losing his appetite, his feathers continued to fall out, he lifted his hand to ruffle Cas' hair to annoy him but gave up halfway through and nudged his shoulder instead, he trailed off when he laughed as if he didn't even have the energy to do that, and he let Dean get away with stupid actions or words without even a teasing remark or a sly insult. It felt like there was a giant hourglass following Sam wherever he went and every time Gabriel coughed or complained or slept an extra half hour, the sand would trickle faster, falling at an alarming rate and practically mocking Sam, who ran a hand through his hair nervously and retreated into his thoughts again.

They had been on the island almost a full month when it happened. Gabriel had been napping, so Sam went for a swim out on the lake with Dean. When he'd come back, he found Castiel in their cabin—and when had he started thinking of Gabriel's home as ‘theirs’?—crouched behind Gabriel, who was kneeling on the floor wearing just his pants, bent over a bucket, making awful retching and gagging noises. Sam had no idea what Gabriel could possibly be throwing up, since he hadn't eaten anything in a while. Maybe Gabriel was so sick he had started to puke out his own intestines.

Castiel was rubbing Gabriel's back, right between his wings, and when Sam and Dean came in through the door, he shot up, muttering something comforting to Gabriel and rushed to them, ushering them back out. "He doesn't want you to see him like this," he said forlornly to Sam. As he closed the door, he met Sam's eyes with his own big, blue, broken ones and Sam kind of lost it right there.

His hands curled into fists, his chest started heaving, his nostrils started flaring.

"Sammy?" Dean muttered, reaching out to grip his brother's arm, but Sam was already storming away, back into the forest. Dean ran after him.

Once he was deep enough in the woods, Sam stopped, started pacing in circles, and Dean stopped and watched from a few feet away. When Sam let out a strangled yell and threw a punch at a nearby tree, Dean sat down on a rock and made himself comfortable. This was going to take a while.

Sam punched at the tree barks, grunting angrily, tearing the skin and making them come back bloody. Dean just watched patiently, ready to jump in if Sam started causing real damage to himself, and just waited. Sam had done this a few times before, most notably when their father had died. It was just a matter of Sam letting out his frustrations. When tears started rolling down Sam's face as he pummeled the tree bark into splinters, Dean bit his tongue and let him carry on.

After a while, Sam started slowing down, panted, and stepped away from the trees. His hands were bleeding profusely, but not too much to cause any extreme worry, Dean noted.

"I can't let him die, Dean," Sam bit out, and Dean knew he was talking mostly to himself.

"Why not?" Dean replied, even if he doubted Sam was listening to him. "Is it because you feel like you owe him?"

Sam grit his teeth and shook his head. "No...it's not just that..."

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Dean continued, "Is it because he's actually a decent guy and you consider him a friend?"

Groaning in frustration, Sam buried his bloody hands into his hair. "No! It's not that!"

"Then what is it, Sammy?" Dean prompted, almost aggressively. "You're supposed to be the smart brother here, man! How is it that I know the answer and you don't? Why can't you let him die?"

Sam whirled on him, eyes flashing, and for a moment, Dean felt that Sam might start punching _him..._ but then his face cleared and he inhaled deeply, letting out an almost surprised breath.

"Because I don't want to lose him," he said slowly. Dean wanted to smile, but opted to give Sam a dry look that said he was an enormous idiot for not figuring it out sooner. Sam's face split into a wide, bright grin as he exclaimed, "I'm scared to lose him. I'm absolutely terrified…"

There was a slight breeze that ruffled Dean's hair as Sam sprinted past him.

***

When Sam arrived back at the cabin, Gabriel was asleep again. Castiel was sitting by the bed, wiping his brother's sweaty brow with a cloth. Castiel's wings were limp, dragging on the ground, his shoulders slumped. Everything about him exuded misery. He glanced up at Sam and his brows bunched together, turning quickly away again.

Sam stepped forward slowly, wringing his hands nervously, wincing as he aggravated the wounds on his knuckles. He felt his insides turning with guilt as he watched Cas, who was suffering as his brother wasted away. Sam knew Cas was finding it hard not to blame him like Gabriel, and it made Sam feel about three inches tall. He really liked Cas, didn’t want the angel hating him.

"Cas... Why don't you go...er...relax or something?" he stammered out awkwardly. "I can—“

"I can take care of my brother just fine, Sam," Castiel snapped, and Sam practically recoiled, feeling like a little kid being chastised. "Why don't you just leave? Just go home, Sam...let him die in peace..."

Sam swallowed, took a deep breath. "Please, Cas? Just let me...I want to talk to him when he wakes up."

Slowly, Castiel pulled his hand with the washcloth away from Gabriel and turned to face Sam, frowning. He noticed Sam's ragged hands and raised an eyebrow, then sighed and got up from his stool. His wings still dragged on the ground, trailing up pale dust that clung to the dark tips of his feathers, giving them the look of a young man’s dark hair starting to gray with age. It seemed heartbreakingly fitting.

"Wash your hands," he said, voice rougher than usual. "If he wakes up and sees you covered in blood, his heart might give out." Pushing the washcloth into Sam's hands, he added, "Although considering his current state, that might be a mercy."

Sam's throat tightened as Castiel shouldered past him and stepped through the door, closing it quietly behind him so as not to wake Gabriel. Once he was alone with the unconscious angel, Sam went to the kitchen to rinse his hands, the water tinting red, little splinters and bits of bark that had been caught in his skin floating on the surface. He checked his knuckles, picked out a few stubborn splinters that hadn’t washed out, then found some bandages Gabriel had and wrapped up both hands. Then he sat down in the stool Castiel had been using and carefully wiped the perspiration accumulating on Gabriel's forehead.

Gabriel slept for another half hour, sometimes moaning or mumbling in his sleep, showing his discomfort or pain and Sam bit his lip, not wanting to wake him up just yet and limiting himself to wiping his forehead and keeping an eye on him. When Gabriel woke up, it was gradual. His eyes opened and closed, his arms twitched, his breathing became less even. He started mumbling, and Sam could just make out Castiel's name.

"Cas went to get some rest," he said gently and Gabriel's eyes snapped open at the sound of his voice. The light made him wince and hiss slightly. He adjusted himself on the bed so he could sit up a bit straighter and Sam placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't move too much. Just relax, okay?"

"I'm fine, Sam," Gabriel grumbled. "I don't need you to baby me, okay?" Sam pressed his lips together, refrained from calling Gabriel out on his crap. "Could you hand me my shirt please? Wanna go down to the lake?"

"Sure," Sam said dryly. "Should I carry you or are you going to crawl there?"

"Well, if we're feeling romantic, carrying me sounds nice." Gabriel was still trying to sit up and get his legs over the side of the bed, and Sam could see just how much that was taking out of him.

"Get back in bed," he demanded, getting up from his stool and pushing Gabriel back down by his shoulders. "You're not going anywhere. You're going to stay right here." He sat at the edge of the bed, next to Gabriel's hip, still gripping his arms and grinned. "With me."

Gabriel smiled softly, brought his hand up to wrap around Sam's wrist, rubbing the inside with his thumb. "No protests here."

"Good. Because I..." _This is it,_ Sam thought, tongue drying up suddenly, his throat closing up and his breath caught in his chest. He was going to change his life forever, leave behind everything he knew—his village, his friends, his home...Jessica—and spend the rest of his life with this angel. This one, amazing, funny, wonderful, annoying angel that made Sam laugh and feel happier than he had ever felt before. "Because I've made my decision."

Gabriel's smile slid off his face like water, his eyes widening just slightly and his thumb ceasing its movement against Sam's wrist. "Oh, really?" he asked, trying to pass as nonchalant, but his voice was dry and raspy, the underlying anxiety clear. "Well, then...what's it gonna be?"

Sam leaned forward, over Gabriel, and smiled as he touched his lips to Gabriel's, giving his arms a gentle squeeze as he did so. "You're stuck with me," he murmured, shifting on the bed so he could get on all fours over Gabriel. "I'd say I'm sorry...but I'm really not."

With a breathy laugh, Gabriel wrapped his arms around Sam's neck and pulled him down again, kissing him deeper, fuller, stronger, pulling him closer and closer until their chests touched, Sam wrapping his arms around his back, fingers brushing the arches of his wings. Their mouths opened, tongues pushing past and gently probing, testing and feeling. Gabriel's mouth tasted mostly clean, probably rinsed out with fresh water before falling back to sleep, but there was a hint of acid and sick under it that made Sam's gut twist with guilt and push harder, grip Gabriel tighter.

Sam kissed down Gabriel's neck, Gabriel's hand tangling in his hair, the other pushing under Sam's shirt to touch his skin, press his fingertips to the dip of Sam's spine and push him closer. Already, Gabriel's strength was slowly returning, his Grace revitalizing at the prospect of finally being able to mate after waiting for so long. Sam shifted, lips still pressed to Gabriel's skin at the juncture of his neck, he slipped his hand to stroke along one wing, making Gabriel groan against him, dig his nails just slightly into his skin.

Grinning, loving the reaction it got from the angel, Sam did it again, scratching just slightly in the way he knew Gabriel loved. There were lots of feathers missing, fallen over the past weeks; the thin, fleshy underside was showing in large patches like a diseased bird, but his wings were still sensitive and Gabriel still loved having them groomed and touched.

Gabriel pressed his forehead to Sam's shoulder, fingers gripping Sam's body hard enough to leave bruises as Sam continued stroking through Gabriel's feathers, tugging gently, teasingly, leaving Gabriel a moaning, mumbling mess.

Relenting, Sam pulled away from Gabriel, releasing his wing, making Gabriel gasp with relief, and pulled his shirt over his head. 

“You’re really going to do this?” Gabriel asked in a whisper, fingers trailing over Sam’s bare chest. “You’re going to be my mate…stay with me?”

Sam hummed softly, pressed a smile to the side of Gabriel’s face. “You’re gonna have a hard time getting rid of me, that’s for sure.”

Gabriel’s hand came up to stroke through Sam’s hair gently, even if his body was currently practically vibrating with need. He was hungry and desperate, a starved dog finally getting a taste of the elusive steak and wanting the rest.

“Let’s make it official, then, shall we?”

Sam leaned up to grin wolfishly down at Gabriel for a moment before surging into a kiss, his hands returning to their ministrations in the angel’s wings. Gabriel arched and pressed his wings harder into Sam’s hands, lost to the sensation of it again.

They had to stop briefly to shuck off their pants and then Sam was back on top of Gabriel and prepping him, stretching him carefully and effectively. He tried to take it slow, so as not to hurt Gabriel who was still in a weakened state, but Gabriel wouldn’t have that and demanded it faster, _just get on with it,_ canting his hips and following Sam’s fingers.

“Don’t wanna hurt you,” Sam mumbled.

“I’ll be fine once we’re mated,” Gabriel argued and Sam pulled his hand away and leaned over Gabriel again. Pressing his mouth to Gabriel’s, Sam aligned himself and started pushing in, slowly, carefully. Gabriel bit Sam’s lip and groaned, fingers squeezing Sam’s biceps almost painfully as he was stretched and filled.

Once Sam was in, he paused a moment to breathe, panting heavy breaths against Gabriel’s face. Gabriel shifted on his back, spread his legs a little wider around Sam’s hips, adjusted himself and spread out his wings as much as he could. Sam’s eyes traced them both and then fell back on Gabriel’s face. He nodded just slightly, eyes bright and earnest, and Sam held his breath again and started to move. Slow at first, tentative, wary.

Gabriel’s head fell back against the pillow, hands on Sam’s shoulder and wings stretching and flapping just slightly, aching. There were words caught in his throat, words that pled and begged but that he kept sealed shut behind his lips. Moans and groans tried to escape as Sam picked up his pace, but he was afraid that if he opened his mouth, his shameless begging would burst through, and he wanted Sam to lead the way. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t dig his nails into Sam’s skin a bit as a hint.

Sam smiled and pecked his tightly sealed lips, silently calming him. Slowly, Sam inched his hands upwards from where they were bracing his weight on the mattress by Gabriel’s sides. He brushed his fingers against the underside of feathers and Gabriel jolted against him, causing a shift inside that had Sam shuddering. He kissed Gabriel again and curled his fingers over the appendages gently. Gabriel’s wings flapped harder and harder against his will, like a bird trying to escape, trying to fly away, overexcited and a bit frantic. It was Sam’s job to keep him there, to pin him down and keep Gabriel with him.

With a deeper kiss and an acceleration of rhythm, Sam tightened his grip on Gabriel’s wings and pushed down, pressing them hard against the mattress. Gabriel let out a soft cry, hands and knees tightening on Sam.

It was the strangest sensation Gabriel had ever experienced—his wings being pinned down and his powers being cut off, just like when Dean had done it weeks ago and yet, at the same time, a surge of warmth and strength filling him up, leaking into every bone and muscle in his body, lighting up his every molecule with power and feeling like he could take on the world, like nothing could defeat him because he had his mate at last.

“You’re g-glowing,” Sam groaned out, his voice wrecked and strained, coherency slipping as he joined in Gabriel’s ecstasy.

 “Supposed to happen,” Gabriel managed to ground out, which was as much as he would be able to formulate for the time being. There was a fire in his chest, a warmth that seeped through him and through his mate, joining them. He could feel every twitch of Sam’s muscles, every breath in his lungs, every erratic beat of his heart. Even with no Grace to light him, Sam had never felt brighter.

 The Grace’s light leaked out of Gabriel’s mouth and nose and ears, poured out from his eyes as Sam sped up, chasing that climax with Gabriel. Gabriel’s wings flapped more, desperate, and Sam pinned them down hard, a low growl in his throat. His arm muscles were bulging, veins sticking out, and he was sweating with exertion, unwilling to let Gabriel’s wings slip free, determined to keep Gabriel with him, forever.

 Crying out, the light exploded out of Gabriel, filled the room, and he wrapped his arms around Sam tightly, gripping him to himself. His wings finally became still, falling limp in submission to Sam’s hold. Sam burst as well, inside Gabriel, with a loud cry of his own, buried in Gabriel’s collarbone and fingers squeezing the wing bones so hard they would have snapped…

 …had Gabriel not been at full strength.

But, as it was, every inch of Gabriel was radiating with newly-charged Grace and not only did he feel better than he had for the past couple of weeks since he found Sam, but he felt better than he had in his entire life. 

“Were you supposed to glow and…uh… _explode_ like that?” Sam mumbled from his place lying prostrate over Gabriel, practically crushing his ribcage, but Gabriel didn’t mind.

“Mmhmm.” Gabriel stroked a finger over Sam’s shoulder blades idly.

“Is that gonna happen every time we have sex?”

Gabriel chuckled, trying to control his elation at the prospect of having more sex with Sam in the future. The future that they’d be now sharing together…as _mates._ “Nope. Just the first time.”

“All right, good.” Sam groaned as he pushed himself off Gabriel and let go of his wings. “It was pretty cool, but I think it’d get old after a while.”

“And I wouldn’t want you growing bored with me just yet.” Gabriel shifted onto his side, draped his wing over Sam’s back and pulled him in so he could press into Sam’ chest and cuddle there. “We have our whole lives together to do that.”

“The last thing you are, Gabriel, is boring.” Sam pressed a kiss to Gabriel’s hair. He pressed in close, wrapped his arms around Gabriel and held him, feeling the soft feathers that cocooned him shift and tickle along his back. “I’ve made some stupid decisions in my life,” Sam whispered and Gabriel tensed a little bit, unsure. “But this…I don’t think this will ever be one of them.”

Gabriel smiled. “You’re just lucky I found you, Winchester.”

 “You could have left me to die,” Sam countered, not knowing how every fiber in Gabriel’s body refused the idea then, just like it was doing now.

 “Nah.” He kissed Sam’s chest, stroked his wing down his arm. “You were way too pretty to be left to die.”


End file.
